Ugly
by comet80
Summary: From everything, I remembered, nothing seemed as important as it does now. Now is my chance to start over.songfic and Werid Title I know.


_**Im sorry I haven't written in a while. But Im back..with more goodness :D.. I just finished watching The Pop Up edition and Whee! Ryan has about 10 super cool hats.**_

_**Disclaimer: I still dont own. I dont even own the movie. Or the song.. Flash backs,if any will be in **italics **lyrics in **_**bold ****_Flashbacks are in third person. The rest isnt._**

_**--**_

I remember never fitting in. Not in kindergarten, not in 8th grade, and never in high school. And here I am still not fitting in. And Im sitting in my old bedroom, gathering important things to take to my new house,in L.A. Just being here brings back horrible memories.

_"Momma?" Six-year old Ryan says, staring at the floor. "I dont want to do little league. Or play pee wee basketball,or Soccer."_

_Mrs Evans looked at her son. "You have to do some after school activity. I dont want you to be in the house all afternoon with lots of unused energy. Come along Ryan, I have to get your sister from dance class. Maybe then we'll find an activity for you."_

_Ryan hopped into the car,his mom buckling him into his car seat. Even at almost seven he still used one, just to reach the window. Or so he said. He listened happily to the old show tunes being played in the car._

_The two went into the building watching Sharpay finish up the last ten minutes of dance, as Ryan said happily, " Momma, I wanna dance."_

I chuckled to himself remembering the look my mom gave me. Skimming through the box, I found this really old rock. It seemed odd to keep a rock, then I remembered.

_"Hey, uh Ryan?" Seven year old Troy said, " We need one more for dodgeball. Wanna play?"_

_Ryan shook his head. "No. I dont like getting hit with balls. Besides, I already promised Sharpay I would play with her."_

_Ryan grabbed a rock and went with Sharpay to the hopscotch court. "First one to fall looses."_

_Moments later Ryan found himself at home,with an ice bag on his eye. "What happened?"_

_Sharpay spoke up " Those three boys hit you hard. And then called you some names I can't remember._

_Ryan nodded to himself and climbed onto his mom's lap. "Mommy, am I weird?"_

_"Of course not baby" She said rubbing him gently._

**When I was 7  
They said I was strange  
I noticed that my eyes and hair weren't the same  
I asked my parents if I was OK  
They said you're more beautiful  
And that's the way they show that they wish  
That they had your smile  
So my confidence was up for a while  
I got real comfortable with my own style  
I knew that they were only jealous cos**

I dozed off for a few minutes and then found myself lying on an old shirt or something.

_"Ryan, are you honestly going to wear **that**?" fifteen year old Sharpay said disgusted. "You wore that outfit last year. You cant wear it again! At least not to **my** party."_

_"Sharpay, no one will notice. I swear." Ryan said a tad annoyed, liking the outfit he picked out. But he knew to fit in, he had to listen to his demon sister. So he let her take control of everything. Like always._

**There was a time when I felt like I cared  
That I was shorter than everyone there  
People made me feel like life was unfair  
And I did things that made me ashamed  
Cos I didn't know my body would change  
I grew taller than them in more ways  
But there will always be the one who will say  
Something bad to make them feel great**

Coming out had to be the worst thing that could happen. In fact, it was probably harder than trying to find away to engage my now husband, Troy Bolton. Only thing that could be worse than coming out was the fact I was doing it with the 'Jock on Campus'.

_Sharpay came over angerly. " How could you? You know I liked him."_

_"But Sharpay, you know I do. And he likes me."_

_News got around school about the two going out. It went around until Mr Evans found out. He immediately went straight to the main subject. His son. He didnt want to ask straight on. So he figured Ryan was old enough for 'The Talk' the one that every Evan's boy got at Ryan's age._

_"Son?" Mr Evans said knocking on Ryan's door. Ryan opened it up and leaving it open as his dad walked into the poster filled room. Mr Evans stared. Teenage boys were supposed to have wall to wall of girls on the posters. Pictures of girls laying on cars, models, some famous actress. Not some large poster of Ashton Kutcher, or some old backstreet boy or whatever._

_"Yea dad?" Ryan said eying up from one of Sharpay's old Seventeen magazines,carefully hidden by an old comic._

_"Son, it's time I teach you the wonders of life. You see, when a man loves a woman.." He said trying to sound exactly like a teacher,and hoping to see some excitement, or wonder on his boy's face,but was disappointed to see a disgusted look, but finished off with " and that's how you came to us."_

_Ryan looked back, disgusted, and about ready to puke. "That's nice dad. Im really not interested now."_

_"Son, anything you need to say?" Ryan shook his head. " I dont believe you. Just tell me why you wont try out for football, or play basketball, or baseball? Why wont you?Why? Ryan Christopher Evans. Answer me."_

_Ryan let out a breath and said " I wont,because..because.. cuz im..gay. Im gay,dad. Im gay."_

_Mr Evans looked at the ground, freaked out, and disgusted mixed into one._

**Everybody talks bad about somebody  
And never realises how it affects somebody  
And you bet it won't be forgotten  
Envy is the only thing it could be**

From everything, I remembered, nothing seemed as important as it does now. Now is my chance to start over. Forget the cruel past. Now Me and Troy can start over. Maybe change our names, and identities. I've always liked the name 'Lucas'. But then again, it wont really matter. Especially the fact that I've become a star. And I'm going to have to do my whole life over again. This time with press watching. Changing ourselves wont really matter.

**People are all the same  
(Oh, oh, oh)  
And we only get judged by what we do  
(What we do, yeah)  
Personality reflects name  
And if I'm ugly then  
(Yeah, so are you)  
So are you  
So are you  
**

"Ready to go Ryan?" I look over and there's Troy next to me. I nod and give him a kiss.

"You dont..we dont.. I dont" I stutter out.

"nonsense Ryry, I dont mind giving up the basketball team here. There's much better in L.A. Plus, I could even find a coaching job easier than before. And You finally made it bigtime."

"Thanks Troy.. just thanks." I give him a kiss as a pull out of the driveway." Driving out to our new lifestyle. Or hopefully a new non redundant life.

**People are all the same  
(Oh, oh, oh)  
And we only get judged by what we do  
(What we do, yeah)  
Personality reflects name  
And if I'm ugly then  
(Yeah, so are you)  
So are you  
So are you **  
---

_**I dont know why but making Ryan into an actor just made sense.:D Anyways..Reviews are nice.**_


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